RedNeck Christmas-JeffFoxworthy


‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.

The kids they weren’t talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn’t argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.

When out in the yard the dog started barkin’, I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin. He yelled, “Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus.”

I said, “Claus, I don’t know nobody named Claus, and you ain’t taking me in without probable cause.” Then the Sheriff he said, “The man was shot at last night.” I said, “That might have been me, just what’s he look like.”

The Sheriff replied, “Well he’s a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly. He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry.” I said, “Sheriff that sounds like my wife’s sister Sherri.”

“It’s no time for jokes Roy” the Sheriff he said. “The man I’m describing in dressed all in red. I’m here for the truth now, it’s time to come clean. Tell me what you’ve done, tell me what you’ve seen.”

Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell, it wouldn’t have been the first time that I’ve spent New Years in jail. I said, “Sheriff it happened last night about ten, and I thought that my wife had been drinking again.”

When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost. I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO’s. But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head, and stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red.

Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder, a freezer full of venison standing right on Red’s gutter. Well my hands were a shakin’ as I grabbed my gun, when outta Red’s chimney this feller did run.

And slung on his back was this bag over flowin’. I thought he stolen Red’s stuff while old Red was out bowling’. So I yelled, “Drop fat boy, hands in the air!” But he went about his business like he hadn’t a care.

So I popped a warning shot over his head. Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled. And as he flew off I heard him extort, “That’s assault with intent Roy, I’ll see ya in court.”

I thought this was hilarious and had to share it with everyone. This poem was written by Mr. Jeff Foxworthy.

Hope you enjoyed this!
Leave a comment if you liked.

Lace Tomus

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Struggling with Weight Loss? Stop Squirming!

Anyone else out there struggling with weight loss?  Good Lord it is only November 9 and already I am feeling the “holiday bulge!” And it isn’t even Thanksgiving yet!
I have been struggling lately.  What else is new, right?  I have been struggling big time with emotional eating and excuses.  Anyone out there with me? YIKES!
I weighted myself this morning and the scale still says the same. UGG! For me and most woman out there it’s panic time right? Looking down to see it the scale had somehow,
some miracle happened and the scale was lying.

Here are a few of my thoughts lately…in no particular order!
“Well, screwed that up and didn’t workout this morning…might as well scratch that off the list.  No workout for me today.”
“Today is going to be stressful…I NEED that cookie so and so just brought me.  It will make me feel better!”
“One won’t hurt”  {Side note…it is never just one!} Right?
“Well…those pants don’t fit.
“Oh Great…now my fatty paints are tight!”
“You ate that cupcake…screw the whole day!”
“I’ll start next week!”
Any of these sound familiar?  Have you said them to yourself lately?
I was having a great conversation with Suzanne Summers today, while taking a walk.
She told me to stop squirming.  Just like if I was tied up, what does squirming do?  It tightens the knot.  However, if I will just stop, slow down, take a deep breath, assess the situation and make a plan…then and there, I can figure out how to untie the knot and get myself out of the bind I am in.
So many times I find myself struggling and I start squirming.  I give myself negative thoughts. I say bad things to myself and then, I eat.  What good does that do?  None.  It makes the situation worse.
What I need to do is stop.  Just take a minute when I am stressed and stop.  Think about what is really going on and make a plan.  Then, execute the plan I have made under “normal” circumstances.  NOT under “Panic Mode!”
I think of quicksand.  If you are in quicksand what is the first thing you DON’T want to do?  Squirm.  The faster you try and get out of it, the further and faster you sink.  On the other hand, if you just take a chill pill and relax, you will stop sinking and possibly find a way out. So, I will encourage you tonight to stop squirming.  Take a deep breath, make a plan, and assess the situation.

Every hour of every day, start over.  If you screw up, start over the very next hour.  Don’t wait until the next day or the next week or January 1.  Start the very next hour.  These days, I am going to start taking it hour by hour and see how that works.
We are going to get through the holidays one way or the other.  Let’s make it better.
What is your current struggle and how are you choosing to handle it?
I want to help you with your struggle. Take your first step with me.

Leave me your current Struggle

Till Next Time,
Lace Tomus


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The Only Thing You Should Do Today Is Start

Often to succeed in something we have to take action. You can keep reading and planning but till you do it nothing will happen. Thats why today I want to encourage you to do something! – right now. Just start. You can start to change up your diet just a bit to a more simple diet.

You don’t have to go crazy with this at first but just a few baby steps. Then if your not walking on a regular bases, I’ve got a tip for you. This really helped me out when I first started to to walk. Every time you have to drive some where public like the store, shopping, bank, coffee shop etc. Don’t try to park as close to the entrance as possible but instead park as far away as you can then walk.

Then you will find that you’ll burn more calories today than yesterday and do this every time you go any where.Now I’m no big fan of exercising but the fact of the matter is that it’s really good for you and the truth of the matter is you don’t have to get all carried away with it. Just start with some simple exercises

Keep your end goal in your mind and just do a little every day Because, you can do this and I know you can! Just think of it, in a very short time you to will have your own success story

I would love to hear about it. All I ask is that you leave me a comment and tell me  what you’re about to do (like a pledge if you will) and lets see how much we can all get done today together.

Sound good to you?

Life of a preachers daughter

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The Fastest Way To Lose Weight In 8 Weeks

Losing weight in a short space of time has always been thought of as a near impossible task. For years, doctors and dieticians have told the public that it takes months and sometimes even years of hard work to see any progress with weight loss, or to sculpt the perfect body. But that is simply not true at all.

The human body is highly adaptable and able to change in extremely short periods of time. Think about. If people can quickly gain mass amounts of fat from weeks of unhealthy eating, shouldn’t they be able to lose a lot weight rapidly from weeks of healthy eating? Well, they definitely can. Yes it real possible to Lose Weight In 8 Weeks.

More times than not in just a few short days! In 3 Weeks or Less. << Link Product

But what do you need to eat to lose the weight rapidly? From low-carb, to low-fat, to sugar-free, to high protein, and even the ‘caveman’ diet – there are so many options out there that it can be extremely confusing to the average person on which diet you should use to quickly lose weight. Some of these diets even provide conflicting information on what you should and shouldn’t eat. Well, that’s all about to change.

For years, A-list celebrities and professional athletes have been following a secret diet not revealed to the public. This diet is so effective that people have been able to lose over 23 pounds of pure body fat in just 21 days from following it. That’s more than 1 pound of body fat per day! Now, that diet has been made public by acclaimed nutritionist and personal trainer Brian Flatt.

There is an A-list of people like you and I . So instead of a video of a famous sports star for inspiration check this video out for an amazing story of a superstar that is just like us regular people. Give it a Click HERE

Until Next Time,
Lace Tomus

Life of a preachers daughter
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Hey My Friend :-)

Let talk today about how simple your life can be by just eating your way to health. Have you ever heard that phrase “Eating your way to health”? 

HEY! Maybe I just came up with the phrase LOL. :-)

Eating makes us feel like happy. Well, not always right? Sometimes there are things we know we shouldn’t eat and when we do we feel bad that we ate it.

I know I have slipped away at times, Especially late at night when I’m about to hit the night button. It took me years to discover that the fruits I was eating at night was making me sleep heavy. So sound, When I woke up I was exausted and couldn’t get into my everyday routine like I do everyday. It was getting harder and harder for me to function because I was getting heavier and heavier.

In my resent discoveries I found that when eating my fruits I need to have them early in the day so that I can burn whatever sugars I consumed that day.

So if your struggling with weight issues, try to stay away from any kind of sugars after 6 P.M. You will feel so much better the next day.
So in keeping what I have said today,
May your day be blessed and safe,
Until next time,
Lace Tomus 
Life of a preachers daughter
Also I have other pages you can check out as well.

See you there!
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How You Should Choose Your Diet Plan #1

Hey :-)

Going on a diet plan is never a welcomed occasion. Sure,
you look forward to the end result, but the pre-planning and
mental process to get motivated about it can be draining.

Make things simple and choose a diet plan that wonít be extremely
drastic for you to implement into your life. Life is already
stressful enough for most people, and food is an integral part
of our everyday comfort and happiness.

Choose a diet plan that allows you to still eat some of the food types
you enjoy. For example, if you love proteins, then a high protein diet
might fit in well without driving you crazy from thoughts of

If youíre not a cook, and in fact hate getting in the kitchen, then
try to pick a plan that doesnít require you to grow your own
vegetables and process them with a lengthy recipe in your kitchen.

Choosing a diet plan that works best for you means that it fits the bill
on food choices, budgeting, and timing. As long as those three criteria are
met, you probably have a winner that will see you through to long-term
weight loss!

In the next email,
I will give you more information on how you can choose your diet plan.
Until next time,
Many Blessings,

I thought maybe you might want something to check out so,
Go here
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Not My Top Priority

Thinking back on the time when weight wasn’t my top priority. I guess I wasn’t the kind of person to ever think that my weight would spin out of control.

At 19,
my lowest weight was 130, then at 22 I got married, had a baby and THEN it happened. I started craving all the things that I have never craved before. Pizza, Pasta, soda, and even more soda, soda to the galore. I went from a low to a very high. Topping 489lbs. You talk about being the unhappy person inside.. Even though I was always cheerful and happy on the outside, I didn’t want people to know what I was feeling on the inside. I was so sad that I had let my weight get out of control.

I’ve Tried It All,
I have tried all the diets that life can through at me, from Richard Simmons, Jenny Craig, Med Fast, WW, to pills and the list goes on and on.. I don’t know what you are feeling inside,, as I can only guess,, but IF you are feeling the same way I was, and there is NO way out and you too have tried all the things from diet plans that DON’T work, I am here to tell you that there IS a plan out there for you that you can do that will help you through your weight loss journey.

New Direction,
Let me show you how to become a NEWER and HAPPIER YOU!

Don’t let life turn your world upside down like it did mine.

Till Next Time,
Stay safe and most of all be healthy….
Lace Tomus
This was me Then      And    NOW!


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Hey! Share- My Then And Now!

I wanted to share a little more of my story and how over the years my weight has fluctuated.
Being 17 and at the slim and sexy weight of a regular typical teen would be (125lbs.) Back then I could eat whatever I wanted and it would budge my weight at all. I can’t remember the last time I was at the slender age. 

My highest weight was 489lbs. So far I have lost 246lbs. Even though I am not at the weight I want to be I am striving to get to my goal of 150lbs. I know it will take some time and I know for a fact, I WILL and CAN reach it. Now when I look into the mirror I see a NEW me.
If you want to know more then I encourage you to go to and enter your email K? You’ll find great information. Click, Copy and Paste

This Was me Then..                            Now!

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What’s In Soda? Here’s a SHOCKER!

Hey :-)

A few days ago I ran across this report and I want to share it with you. I couldn’t believe what I was listening to. I for was was shocked that this stuff is in the soda. If you drink soda or if you know of anyone who does then you need to watch this short report.–health/is-4mei-in-your-soda-and-why-should-you-care/16817885001/3091502304001/

I want send you FREE stuff so click this link. Don’t forget to sign up and you’ll get great info sent straight to you email and don’t forget to share and LIKE!

Lace Tomus

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O.M.G. What? You MUST read this!

Have you ever wondered what it might be like to get back to the weight that you were in high school? After a certain age most people gain more that 20 pounds a year. Eating foods that make us FAT. Refine sugars, Foods that say Gluten FREE. You best be careful of those things that are artificial. Diet Soda, Chips that say they are FAT FREE.

For most chips and flours on the market have toxic chemicals in them. Life would be so much better if we all would eat like they did back in the cave man days. Take it from me when I tell you, I was just like most of Americans today, Eating all the things that I thought were good for me. Yum Fried Chicken!!!!

Fried chicken and a 2 litter of Pepsi was my 3 times a week food. I couldn’t get enough of them. I didn’t have a lot of money to buy the foods I should have eaten. Having children to raise on my own and very poor. so my daily food was mostly Spaghetti and Mac and Cheese. Peanut Butter and jelly sandwiches along with a 2 litter of Pepsi.

I can’t remember the last time I drank a Pepsi but I can remember the last time I drank a Coke Zero.. I love Coke Zero so much that I became addicted to it and couldn’t get enough of it.

I started indulging in which one bottle became two and then I made sure I drank one every day, WOW zero calories! Don’t let them fool you! I gained more and more weight drinking it then I ever did with Pepsi.

Now I’m not saying that you should stop drinking the diet drinks and go back to the real stuff.. But I do say if your gonna drink anything like that it’s better to have a real one then a artificial one….

I can honestly say that it’s been 2 months now since I had any artificial or real soda. I am very proud of my accomplishments and sticking to what makes me feel good. My energy is starting to climb and I no longer have the urge to binge.

I have lost 28 pounds so far and hope to fulfill my goal to lose the right way.

Lace Tomus

Here’s a report that I came across. If you want to learn more why I stopped drinking harmful soda’s Watch this video!

I hope that this will encourage you to make a change. Be good to your body…..
it will thank you! Get FREE access to this >>  FREE Report Now!

Till next time!
Lace Tomus

Life of a preachers daughter
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